Yes please I’ll have another glass of Wine and whine

As another Monday comes to an end, I find my mind is once again racing with thoughts from the day:

·         Monday – a word that evokes fear and loathing all over world, and in all languages. One seventh of our life is spent surviving Mondays and the other 6 spent dreading its return. I sometimes wonder why there was no villain created in comics and movies called “Mean Monday” or something– probably because he would have won in any battle.  Sadly there is no cure, but there is a way to diminish Monday symptoms – wine. The sweet smoothness of wine passing through the body, numbing all the corporate aches in the mind and in the typing-at-my-desk-all-day-elbows.

• ·        The Superbowl is silly. I say that because everyone keeps talking about guacamole statistics and Im ravenous. Admittedly though, this is probably the one time I wish I was American. I would love to be sitting in a bar in downtown New York, pouring rivers of Budweiser over myself and everyone in celebration, singing songs with friends and shouting hysterically in jubilation over a win. There is something beautiful about mass hype. And then I remember one very important thing: with mass hype, comes mass(ive) hangover. And then I am suddenly grateful that I did not have to experience an American Monday.

Superbowl food stadium

• ·         I am tired of cunctators. For those of you who don’t know what it means, clearly tells me that you do not listen to Gareth Cliff. In which case dishonour on you. I dislike Gareth haters more than I dislike cunctators.  

• ·         I don’t understand why everyone hates rain. I like the eerie calm that settles over Joburg after the rain – the thick fog that blankets the high-rise buildings, the dim flashing red of traffic light that are out with the faint sound of car hooters breaking the silence. However I only want to be an innocent observer. The only time I want to be in the middle of the rain is if someone is kissing me… any takers? No? ok.

• ·          Joburg people are too angry. If only there was an iphone game for “angry joburgians” - I would especially like to swing Hadida Birds at Joburg driver. “Killing 2 joburgians with one bird?” One can only dream.

• ·         I want to invent a contraption that prevents bruising on one’s elbows when one has a desk job. Currently my elbows are showing signs of wear and tear - I like to tell people it’s from floor sex but unfortunately I am branded by a corporate symbol of hard work and a God awful lot of daily typing. So far my quick fix solution has been to sit with dishcloths tied with elastic bands to my elbows. Very effective albeit highly unfashionable considering I work in fashion.

Bottle of wine is finished therefore my whine too must come to an end.

Goodnight Moody Monday!